Wednesday Night - Thank You

It is with the heaviest heart that I write this tonight. Our beloved darling Emma Brielle Flores past away this afternoon. Her mission on this earth was finally complete and she was called home to the only person that could love her more than Bianca and I, our Heavenly Father.

Writing this opens everything back up so painfully, but I feel that I need to on behalf of my family, to say thank you to so many people. So on behalf of Bianca, Eva and Emma please let me say with all the love a father can have, thank you all. Thank you for the prayers, thank you for the positive thoughts, thank you for the phone calls, the text messages, the emails, the facebook posts, thank you for the hugs and kisses, thank you for taking care of my little girls, thank you for sharing this time with us.

I struggle with words at this time, but I have such a strong conviction that there is a greater plan, a higher purpose for us here on this earth and that one day I will see my beautiful girls once again. I have never known love like this and I hope that for the rest of my life I can make my daughters proud and do things as they would have had me done.

The turn of events has been so sudden that no words can describe the total state of shock we are still in. Bianca went to the hospital yesterday around 12 and stayed with Emma until I arrived around 8pm. Our friend Kris had gone with me to pick up a new freezer we purchased to store all of the milk we had ready for Emma's one day arrival home. I can remember so vividly sitting on the couch and thinking, I am so tired, it's been a long day, I am sure there would be no harm in staying home tonight and seeing Emma first thing in the morning. How grateful I am for the still small voice that said, go see your little girl.

I arrived to find Bianca and Emma cuddled up together and resting so peacefully. I stayed and got to spend some wonderful moments with them and see how beautiful Emma was, squirming, kicking her little legs out and doing what she did best, making me fall in love with her all over again.

This morning I had a doctors appointment early and Bianca prepared to go to the hospital as I would be meeting her after work. My doctors appointment concluded and I came home to let Bianca know of some bad news. I don't want to make this update about me, but in keeping with the narrative, I was diagnosed this morning with Type 2 diabetes. My doctor and I discussed the events of the past two months and we concluded that the stress and eating habits and lack of sleep finally set my border line status over the edge. As Bianca and I discussed what this would mean for our family, the nurse practitioner called to let us know that Emma had began destating even with full oxygen.

We were told that she had a lot of residual from her last feed and that her bowels (tummy) looked distended. She had this same symptoms a few weeks ago and an x-ray then cleared her. Today's x-ray showed the same type of loopiness and  so the doctors order her to be on her side for a few minutes and a new tube to placed in her stomach to remove anything in there that may be causing her trouble. As her intestines were beginning to balloon they were putting additional pressure on her lungs, hence causing her to not be able to breath. Bianca quickly left to the hospital and I went for my newly prescribed medication.

As I was approaching my office Bianca called to tell me that things were not right, and that the doctors told her that Emma needed surgery immediately. I was beside myself as she was fine not more than an hour ago. I changed directions and went straight to the hospital. Along the way Bianca called me several more times to let me know that things had gone from bad to worse devastatingly quickly. By the time I arrived running through the hospital Bianca had been told that there was little hope for a good outcome.

I immediately wanted to talk to someone, anyone, upon my arrival. I was not there more than 2 minutes, when Bianca announced that our nurse was making a b-line right for us. When she told me that the doctors would like to speak to us in another room, my heart sank. I could not believe this was happening and as I write this through tears, I still cannot believe this happened. 4 doctors and several nurses were awaiting us, and in the middle I saw doctor Jones, who we had met on our very first day of arrival at the hospital. He had answered so many questions for me that day and was so compassionate that looking in his eyes, I knew everything had been done, but that Emma was not ok.

Emma's cause of death was a very rapid moving disease of the bowels known as Necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC).

It is the second leading cause of all premature infants and can move as fast as a heart attack or stroke. Although the first x-rays showed slight signs of infection, the condition spread so fast that even with the emergency surgery there was nothing of her intestines that could be saved. Her little tiny bowels had essential died living her with no chance of survival. I looked and pleaded for any other option, but there was none that could be given.

Her little body had already gone through so much that I just could not take the pain of her hurting any more. I wept like only a parent could for their child. Emma was still alive, essentially on machines only. Her bowels had swollen to such a level that the doctors could not even put them back inside her little body to close her after surgery. She was wrapped as best as possible in sterile gauze, a diaper and tape. My little girl was being held together by such fragile things that it broke my heart into a million pieces. She had been so heavily sedated for the surgery that she was effectively paralyzed and not able to move what so ever. She was just not our squirmy wormy and I was so destroyed to see her this way.

We were moved to a separate room where we got to hold her for hours and just be together as a family. Sadly the doctors left it up to us as to when we could remove the breathing tube and medication that were effectively keeping her alive. I was just not prepared to make that decision, and although the doctors and nurses gave us amazing care, I felt like it was so unfair to have to make me decide when she should go. It's been a few hours now so I see their wisdom and the little choice they had, but I do not wish this on my worst enemy ever. After several hours and holding and kissing our little girl, I made the call to remove her breathing tube and IVs so that she could finally rest. Every 30 minutes or so the nurse would come in to administer additional pain medication, but I could see that Emma was starting to feel things. Her body had been through so much I just could not let her suffer anymore.

For the first time since the day she was born I saw Emma with no mask, no tubes, no wires; it was just her. Perfect little Emma was so beautiful today, she is daddy's little girl and I had my breath taken by her. She survived for a few minutes longer and we held her in our arms until her little heart stopped and we knew she was  gone. I pray that no one ever has to hold their baby and watch them slowly pass, but if she had to go, I was glad we held her. We never let her go and we never will. She is my light, my world and I would die for that little girl. I would do anything that was ever asked of me for her to be back.

I know that Eva was there to meet her today along with countless members of our family who have passed on before. She is not alone and hand in hand she walks now with Eva Aimee to go about doing the Lord's business. I find myself asking so many questions as to why, but it is not my time table, it is not my decision - I leave it in God's hands and trust in him.

Our lives will never be the same and I know He hears and answers our prayers. We prayed for so long to be parents and we are; we will forever be Mom and Dad to two little angels Eva Aimee and Emma Brielle.

I don't know if I will write again or what we will do next, but again I want to say a sincere thank you for all of you who have prayed and watched over us. We had an army of faithful people praying for us and your prayers were felt each and every day. I am humbled at the amazing at the out pouring of love for our little girls, I could not ask for more. I consider each one of you family now, as what we have gone through transcends friendship. Thank you for being our angels on this earth.

We love and care deeply for each one of you and on behalf of Eva and Emma - THANK YOU!

Tuesday midday - quick update

So far Emma is doing good and has been resting. She has had no Bradys or Apneas and she has shown no signs of bacteria or other complications. 

She is being taken off of the iv fluids and going back to feeds so we are very happy about that. 

She is also being slowly taken down off the respirator from 40 breaths a min to 30. This means the machine breathes 30 times and she breathes 10 on her own. Slow and steady :-)

And thus continues our roller coaster...

Monday night - small step back

Last night we were here very late and uncle Benjamin and aunt Vaueli got to come and see baby Emma. It has been such a blessing having some of our oldest and dearest friends come visit and spend some time with our little miracle :-)

This morning very early Emma starting to have lots of breathing issues, so much so that she had over 17 Bradys all before 10:00am. At that point she was taking a lot longer and more stimulation to come back. The nurses and doctors finally agreed it was time to intubate her again. 

This was a serious blow to both Bianca and I as we (the three of us) had been so comfortable with the progress being made. As so often I am reminded, the nicu is a roller coaster. 

It took a little over an hour for the doctors to place the tube back down her throat and get a new line started. Sadly she has been pulled off milk feeds again and is back on IV fluids and electrolytes and lipids via IV. She also did have some bleeding from the pressure and so she has had a rough day. 

The doctors have ordered lots of tests and so far everything has come back looking really well. She had an X-ray this morning and her chest and little lungs are doing well which means this is not a developmental issue; more this is an issue with her stamina. She is tired of doing so much so soon. 

In reality I have to remember that she is a little over 27 weeks and so she has been doing all sorts of things that big kids do :-) looks like she finally needed to take a break. 

The good news is since about noon today she has had no Bradys and no Apneas. She is resting well and seems really comfortable. I am happy she is taking a break although it is a tiny step back. 

Sometimes we have to slow down and take a step back to move forward!

Thank you all for your love and prayers...it's still a long road to go :-)

Saturday Evening - Night Rounds

We are about to go through rounds for the day, but a quick update. Emma is having a few more bradys and apneas than she was having before, but that is just the roller coaster of the NICU.

Her weight has been steady at 1lb 10oz although we are hopeful that she will start gaining lots more weight - BECAUSE SHE IS ON FULL FEEDS NOW!!

Yup I mentioned it last night, but she is finally on full feeds and off all additional liquids. My very fist question this evening will be - when do we get that pic line out of her :-) - side note (after I wrote this we got the all clear - line is coming out YAY!!)

She is loving her time with Bianca and her way fun kangaroo care. One day at a time is all we can ask for. She has begun developing some breathing issues, but we both think this is more due to the mask then anything else. Nurses also think it may be that she is feeding so much more now, but its not making us super happy. Other than that things are going as well as we can expect and we are happy and glad that she is doing well.

Today also is one month since Eva left this world much too early. We were able to take flowers and visit with her this morning and were reminded of that amazing, scary, difficult and humbling road we have been on. It is hard to believe that so much has happened so fast. I can't thank all those who have worried, prayed and pleaded to God on our behalf. I feel that all of those prayers have been answered and we are so thankful for the blessings in our lives.

A big thank you for all those who have donated to the March of Dimes on behalf of Eva, we are so happy at the amount of money that was raised for this amazing cause. We have met so many parents, nurses, doctors and dear friends now that work miracles each and every day that we feel so humbled that there are still very good people in this world. We will be closing the site tonight and again a sincere thank you.

To end this evenings blog post I'd like to include a poem/story that I received over ten years ago from one of my dearest mentors Coach Deby Lewis  - Thank you Coach for being such an amazing person - not a day goes by that I don't use what you taught me about being a leader, a student, a role model and most importantly a friend! I didn't appreciate this I think when I was 17, or at least not at this level and I am sure in another ten years I will look at this again and realize I still don't appreciate it today :-)

The Value of Time:

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400.

It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day.

What would you do?

Draw out every cent, of course!!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.

Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against the “tomorrow”. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of one year,

ask a student who has failed his final exam.

To realize the value of one month,

ask the parent of a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week,

ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one day,

ask a daily wage laborer who has a large family to feed.

To realize the value of one hour,

ask lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of one minute,

ask a person who has missed the train, the bus, or a plane.

To realize the value of one second,

ask a person who has survived an accident.

To realize the value of one millisecond,

ask the person who has won a silver medal at the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Author Unknown

Friday late night!

Emma has been doing very well with a few oxygen problems since yesterday. They have started her on a new cpap mask that we aren't exactly thrilled about, but the old one was starting to irritate her skin around her nose. 

So the good stuff, tonight we stop all fluids and she will begin full feeds!!! Yay much rejoicing she is a big girl now :-) 

I also feel much more like a dad! I got to hold her for two hours and she pooped on me! Welcome to parenthood :-)

All her other stats have been good and she is really starting to fill out more. Her little face is much more full and she has big eyes that love to look around. 

Doctors just came by to do rounds and we did ask about Allison's question: her next mike stone is full feeds then we need to get her off cpap all together. 

Her breathing has been at 26-30% with this new mask where she was stable at 21% which is room air, with the old mask. Hence why we aren't thrilled with this new one, but we are hoping in a few days she will be used to it and good. 

She will probably be on cpap for a few more weeks at this point then we can start hoping for a spot on the 8th floor aka feed and grow time. 

Thanks for all the love and support as our road is not over yet :-). Tomorrow also is one month since Eva passed so it is a bitter sweet moment for us. 

We are so happy for the blessings in our lives and our wonderful children that have taught us so much. Love you angel baby Eva and little sister Emma !

Thursday morning

Quick update - Emma received another blood transfusion on Tuesday and that seems to have really helped her. Very few Bradys over the past three days and she is tolerating her feedings very well. 

She is now up to 9cc and she has been lowered on her lipids (fats) and tpn (electrolytes) in anticipation of her taking full feedings soon!! Hopefully once that starts she will start gaining weight fast. 

Taking one day at a time but we could not be happier with her :-)

Sunday Morning

Emma did great through the night with very little bradys. She did have to be suctioned a lot, but that is part of her normal routine and we are super ok with that. She is beginning to hurt a little because of it, but the doctors have ordered some rash cream for her.

She is also up to 4cc of feeding again, so fingers crossed that she tolerates it well! Bianca and I both woke up a little under the weather, so we may not go see her today as there are strict rules about being sick and in the NICU. I am hoping we both feel better by this afternoon so we can at least say hi :-(

Saturday afternoon

Emma is doing much better through last night and this morning. A few more Bradys but nothing horrible and no more residual in her tummy. X-ray showed an all clear and her little insides are nice and tight again.

She is being held by Bianca daily now and she is off the photo light therapy for now. Her feeds have just now started again at 2cc and we will work our way back up to 4 cc. She is a little heavier at 1.9 lbs so every little bit helps. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend :-)

Friday - 10 days - emotional roller coaster

Everyone told me that the NICU was a roller coaster, good days and bad, and I honestly thought "Nah we have been through so much we should be good....we can handle this."

Well the NICU is a roller coaster and there are good days and bad. First off - let me say that I am not ignoring the blog or posting things that happen, I just never thought that having a baby could be so much work even when they aren't home with you. Funny right - babies are work...go figure. Between working again full time and driving a few hours a day from the house to the hospital I just have not had the strength to stay up to write. I have the best of intentions, but without those long hours of downtime while Bianca was pregnant, it is much harder to find time to write. I promise I am trying and will do better :-)

So today marks her 10th day on this earth outside of the womb and fighting! She has had more bradys and a couple of nights where she just decides to take breaks on breathing all together, but man she loves to keep me on my toes. She is fiesty that is for sure and loves to be the center of attention :-)

The other night she had over 20 bradys and that was finally the point where enough was enough. We talked to the doctors at rounds the next morning and they suggested we do a deep deep suctioning of her throat and nose, and guess what we found....a mucus ball about the size of a small pea. Now given her relative size a pea is HUGE. Well removing that she did much better go figure. This is now part of her regular routine.

She does have great bowel movements and urine is a-ok. She even nailed poor Adrian (one of our night nurses) right in her hand with a little ball of...umm....well poop. She has begun getting fussy and crying more though and let me just say baby girl has some lungs on her. I never thought I would enjoy hearing a baby's cry, but I lover hers. Ive been told to wait a few more months and I may change my tune.
Overall she is doing well and hanging in there. Today she received her head ultra sound and there was no blood, which was our best hope for her. That doesn't rule out everything, but means that her little brain is doing well and has not been damaged.

Here is today's problem; she is up to 4cc of milk a feeding, but she did not eat past her morning feeding at 9am. She had a bit of green bile at 11 and at 2 she had lots more. The doctors called for an xray and found her intestines to be a bit "loopy". I wondered if this was a true medical term and to an extent it is. Her little intestines should look like little balls in an xray and packed in tight together. She has a few that are elongated and sort of well loopy and looked to be enlarged. Two things this could be right now; either she is passing some stool and that is making her uncomfortable or this may be the beginning of an infection. We are hoping to rule out the second tonight at 9pm CDT where we will have another xray and hopefully see the loopy bowel to be restored to a normal state. If its not, then she is going to go back on heavy antibiotics and we are going to stay very close to her.

The main thing we want to avoid is infection. Since she is not eating well right now she cant continue on her normal track until she is feeling better. This is a minor bump in the road, but for us is part of the emotional roller coaster we live daily. Between calls and visits your mind starts wandering places it shouldn't and you can't help but get nervous about every call and every little thing. I will update again once we know more after 9pm.

Other than that she is doing well, she is growing and she does still wiggle all over the place. She is so cute I just want to pick her up and squeeze her all the time. Well that brings me to the good news of the day. Emma's humidity has been lowered over the course of several days and tonight marks her last drop down to 45% humidity (heck we live in Houston - we could have just left her outside the window...am I right...well.....ok tough crowd).

What that really means is tonight we get to hold baby Emma for the first time since she was born 10 days ago. If all goes well she gets to be in our arms and we get to love her up close. (darn I knew I should have shaved - see I have this thing with my brothers in law that we would not shave until she came home, the thing is I never talked to my brother in laws about it so its really just me, and its not so cool when I type it all out, so I am going to shave tonight).

Expect more pictures forth coming if we get to hold her tonight.

Thanks all for the love prayers and support! Ronald McDonald donation information coming soon too...

Sunday morning!

Little Emma did not have such a good night. When we had left she had a few Bradys but very early this morning I had the very strong impression to call and check on her. At a little before 5 I shot straight out of bed and called. Emma had two Bradys each requiring minimal assistance, but if you recall she has never  needed assistance before. 

For whatever reason she was not liking things last night. When we first got here this morning she had one more dip before she got her daily dose of caffeine. The doctors and nurses have all told me that this is normal with preemies, however I finally feel like a parent and I worry no matter what. 

She got her dose of caffeine and it's been close to three hours since her last episode. Some other small news; her electrolytes have been a little whacky and yesterday she was put on a sodium bicarbonate. Today her levels have improved but not exactly where they should be so she will receive another round today. 

She has been taken off the uv lights for today but will more than likely be back under them tomorrow. Also some great news, she is getting bumped up to 2 cc of milk now from 1. Hopefully this will help her grow and get nice and big :-) 

Today is the first day I also put our names down for the Ronald McDonald rooms on the other side of the floor. We shall see if we get a room or not. It's first come first serve and also depends how severe a babies illness is. Wish us luck !!

Thanks all for your love and prayers and a special thanks to Andrea our new friend (Michelle's best friend was in our pod last night - she is a NICU nurse here) we really appreciate your kind words and prayers. It was nice knowing you were here with Emma last night. 

Saturday Evening - Emma's Status

Emma Brielle Flores is such a strong little girl. As everyone who is still reading knows, she has been breathing on her own since just about the minute she was born. After 8 or so hours they doctors extubated her and she has been breathing between 21 - 24 % oxygen. That has been such a miracle for us, as so many new borns have major respiratory issues. We are not out of the woods yet, but we are very thankful for her little lungs.

There are a couple of main things we were worried about from the beginning, her lungs and her bowel development. There are whole list of other things, but these were some of the ones we were pointed out right away. A couple of the terms we hear a lot in NICU journey are Apnea and Bradycardia.
Apnea is a period when breathing stops, and likewise a Brady (Bradycardia) is a period when the heart rate stopes or falls below 80 in permies.

Emma has not had a ton of Bradys but she has suffered a few. Luckily during her first 48 hours she was able to recover from all of her Bradys and apnea on her own. Nurses did not have to do anything to get her to recover, but none the less it is something we would like to avoid. As such she is getting small doses of caffeine every morning and they seem to be working well. As I am writing this she just had a little Brady but I think she does it just to make sure she has my attention ;-)

With all of this we are very happy with her progress and how she has done so far. She is so strong I can't believe it. Last night the nurse had to change her sheets and asked if I would like to hold her...um yes please!!!! It was awesome just feeling her little weight and how strong she is. I was amazed at this tiny little person and all that she does. 

Our road from here is pretty basic. No major road blocks so far, she has been breathing on her own now for 5 days and eating regular milk now for 3 days. Her bowel movements are good and urine output has been normal. She is of course tiny so that means she needs to eat and grow. Her weight dipped after the first night from 1.8 down to 1.7 and then down to 1.6. She had held 1.6 for two days and this evening she is back up to 1.7. These are all great signs to us and we could not be happier. 

Knock on wood and prayers offered, if she continues this pace we may be able to leave this section of the NICU in a few weeks. We are not getting our hopes too high and we are taking things one hour at a time, but that would be our next major goal. To do that she would need to maintain her breathing and raise her weight to over a 1000 grams. Right now 1.7 is 771 grams so we still have a ways to go. She is eating milk now so hopefully she can keep on growing and holding down those calories. 

If she leaves this section of the NICU we would be moved to the 8th floor where she would be on the feed and grow plan. Just waiting for her to get bigger at the point. 

So other than that things are good. Bianca got to change her diaper this evening and Emma is back in her cool girl glasses with the lights back on :-) 

She does have a small cut (well an abrasion on her inner right arm that has been dressed, which more than likely is the result of her skin sticking together and her moving to fast. She is a squirmy wormy that's for sure. 

I will update again tomorrow on her progress! Thank you all for your love and support through this next stage of our journey!

Saturday Afternoon!!

Can I just say that I love my little girl too much! Just going to throw that out there. She is just so darn cute!!!

Ok sorry had to be a parent for a sec :-) so lots to talk about and holy information over load batman. I used to read Allison's blog about Grant and marvel at the medical terms that she has to learn and now that I get to go through some of it...wow new found respect for her and her husband! There is just so much info they throw out at you all at once. 

So let me bring everyone up to speed and go over some of the other things that happened on Tuesday. So first and foremost, Emma is doing awesome and I am so proud of her! She is drinking milk and breathing with out the respirator and doing all those things big kids do (she is a bit of a show off). 

Tuesday I mentioned that Bianca was being worked on... Well lets just say that is the understatement of the year. Let me jump back in to the time line. So Bianca's water breaks around 3-3:30 in the morning Tuesday. We call nurses they call doctors and BAM she is in labor. Bianca is given magnesium to slow contractions and hopefully postpone for 24 more hours so we can get one more shot of steroids into Emma's system. Well Emma was having none of that so around 9 am we are rolled over to labor and delivery and after meds and half dose of steroids Bianca is tired and I am exhausted. She is contracting but not bad and not too often.  She falls asleep and I knock out on the couch. I fall asleep so hard that I wake up with blankets and have no idea how they got there (Stephanie is a rock star let me tell you - not only did she take care of Bianca she covered me up and I didn't even budge. Yeah she rocks). Around 11:30 to 12:00pm we wake up and contractions start coming a little more frequently. Ill save the length of this and get to the grit of the story. Stephanie mentions to me that Bianca delivered Eva with no meds and although she was small that was painful and she took it like a champ, so she tells me, if Bianca asks for an epideral SHE NEEDS IT. Well let me say, I was not one to argue. At 2:30 ish she shoots up in bed and says, I NEED THE SHOT NOW!!!!  

Well I was no fool, I ran out and got her the shot :-). The anastigeloigist (sp?) came in with his resident and asked my mother in law and I to leave outside. He assures me ten minutes tops. 30 minutes later I am still outside and one doctor leaves and another comes running in. Yeah let that sink in for a minute.... When a doctor runs some thing is not right. Well we freak out I am going nuts and texting Jarrod asking him about his experience with the huge needle (well his wife's). So they finally come out and I am told she is doing well but she had to be poked three times...three times with that needle! So she looks at me with tired eyes and says she is feeling numb. Well after a few minutes of ice chips Bianca lets me know that she is still feeling a bit on her left side, so she gets some more drugs and all is well.

Shortly after this point Stephanie calls the doctor to check and see how things are progressing. Doctor takes a bit, and then some more, and both Stephanie and I are like, "eh lets just check". So glad she did (again she is a rock star in my book) and sure enough Baby Emma was right there. Waiting another 24 hours...right out. Everything at this point becomes and all out blur. It was Bianca, Stephanie, my mother in law and me in the room and suddenly there were like 20 people in there. There was a team for Bianca, a team for Emma and everyone was just moving. It was really impressive to say the least.

On to the birth part - Emma had decided to see the world as soon as possible, so she came face first (hence the bruising on her little face) and came fast she did. I got to help with holding Bianca's left leg and her neck while she pushed. Once pushing began it was really 3 hard pushes and Emma was here!
She was passed on to the NICU team right away and Bianca was still pushing on the placentas. Emma was crying almost right away which was such a great sign. The doctors and nurses started her with a respiratory tube just to be sure and she was ready to go. I got to touch her and take a few quick pics before she was off to see Bianca. After a few minutes of holding darling Emma she was taken to the NICU and we were told that we would get to see her in a few hours.

At this point I have always thought, yup labor is all done and there is nothing else to do. Well to my surprise there is still lots to do here (yes yes I should have paid more attention to the "Miracle of Life" video we watched in high school). The doctors all had another patient that was on the table and ready for a c-section right away, so they all stepped out and told us to sit tight for 30-45 minutes. Stephanie stayed with us as things were cleaned up and we settled into the thought that we have a new baby girl and she was being cared for somewhere in the building. After a few minutes Bianca started shaking and I was starting to get worried. I could tell that everyone else in the room was getting a bit anxious as well since there was still more to do as there were two placentas still inside of her. After awhile Stephanie wanted to make sure Bianca was ok and we started talking and checking on her bleeding. Not much had come out which on the surface seemed good, but now that I think about it, there probably should have been some more stuff coming out.

Stephanie began massaging very gently on Bianca's abdomen and sure enough a whole bunch of stuff came pouring out. We both thought, "Yay the placenta" but no just the largest bunch of blood clots I had ever seen in my life...EVER. I will spare everyone the description of what it looked like or graphic comparisons to first person shooter video games, but needless to say it was not something anyone would like to look at it. In my defense though, Stephanie agreed it was a ton, so much so, that she saved the not so friendly looking ball of goo to show to the doctor; who she went to grab. Doctor came in, agreed and went to work on finding these placentas. If you ever wondered what forceps are for, I can tell you :-) with forceps the doctor gently pulled the umbilical cord and out came placenta for Baby B(Emma).  There was much rejoicing and off we went to find Eva's placenta. Eva's cord had fallen off 2 days before and in fact, not much was left at all that had not already recessed back into the uterus.

Again I am going to spare some of the details or descriptions of the good doctors search for Eva's placenta (picture that scene in Indian Jones and the temple of doom when that witch doctor guy rips out the prisoner's heart   - yeah something like that) suffice it to say, it was scary. So out comes placenta two after a few minutes all was out and sure enough Eva's placenta was pretty torn up and in pieces, but we were through the hard part, Emma was ok and Bianca no longer had anything left to come out.

At this point Bianca gives me a good scare - for the next 2 hours or so she begins to shake and shiver and freak out to the point that I honestly thought we were in serious trouble. Bianca's shaking only got worse once the placentas were out. Stephanie tries to get a pulse on her right side at the same time I try to get one on her left (hey I am a Boy Scout, I can find a pulse) and guess what?? Niether of us could. Stephanie found one on her neck but it was very faint. She was breathing and talking to us so she was alive :-) but she was not doing so well. They also tried to take a blood pressure and nothing was working. I won't go into the whole two hour story, but since they could not get a blood pressure the doctors could not administer additional medication and so we were forced to wait it out and cover her in warm blankets. She was very vocal in saying that she was not cold at all, but could not stop shaking. Her lips at this point were ashen white and she had gone completely pale.

After a few other doctors came in they were finally able to give her additional drugs the got her to stop shaking and rest still. By this time it was close to 3 hours from when we last saw Emma and I was getting pretty anxious. When Bianca finally settled down and I could ask her if she wanted any water or juice her response let me know she was just fine; "Can I have some ice cream?" Yes ladies and gentlemen after giving birth to perfect little Emma and scaring me half to death, all she could think to ask for was a pint of her favorite ice cream!!! and you are darn tooten I got it for her.

I will update on Emma's total status in just a minute. We are at the hospital right now and we are about to go through shift change so I will have time to write some more soon...

Thursday morning

So much to write and say but not a lot of time this morning. Very quick update: Bianca is doing well and we are getting kicked out of here (ok not kicked out but she is being discharged right now). She is up and walking around and smiling lots and lots. 

Emma is doing great and we could not be happier. She has been off the respirator since about hour 12 and is on just a c pap machine with around 21-24% oxygen levels which is awesome. In other words she has been breathing on her own now for awhile so hopefully she keeps that up. She has had bowel movements and urine so she has kept her nurses busy. 

I will update more a bit later but for now things could not be better :-)

Quick pic! Yes my daughter does where sunglasses at night (this was taken around 2 am) 

Tuesday afternoon - welcome our new baby

Emma Brielle Flores was born at 3:23pm CDT weighing 1lb 8oz with all ten fingers and ten toes :-)

I don't have too much time to update, but baby came out vaginally with a pretty short amount of time pushing (less thank 30 min). When she was born she was moving her legs and arms and was looking really good. I got to spend sometime with her while they cleaned her up and heard her first little cry ! Yup that's right, Baby Emma cried with a great little set of lungs. She still needed a tube to help her breath but she was doing great. I got to touch her little hand and she opened her eyes to look at me. My heart melted and I am so smitten with that little girl. 

Bianca is holding strong and is still being worked on as there were still two placentas coming and lots of blood to deal with. I will update a bit later on with how everyone is doing!

For a quick explanation of our babies names:

We had always wanted to use Emma but never knew that Eva was a girl until she was born. So Eva came out right there and then. Emma has always been a special name to us for lots of different reasons, but as today progressed we thought hard on her middle name. So from Stephanie's suggestion (yes that Stephanie our wonderful nurse - sorry Karly we love you too but it was your day off) we decided to give her a middle name that starts with a B. 

Hence Baby A = Eva Aimee

And Baby B = Emma Brielle

Brielle is a French name which in Hebrew means "of God" or in French "God is my strength". They are our precious little angles and we love them both so much. 

I will update again soon ...

Tuesday 2pm

Quick update...Bianca has now had an epidural and contractions are coming very fast. Nurses have setup for a vaginal delivery but OR is on standby if there is any distress. NICU nuero teams are on stand by. 

I'll tell the epidural story later on or ask Jarrod as he calmed me down the most when I couldn't stop shaking. 

Baby's heart beat is good and Bianca is well. She is exhausted though but doing all she can. 

Tuesday mid morning

It has now been 6 hours since Bianca woke me up with the news of her water breaking. She has been administered two different antibiotics, a new round of the magnesium (so lots of ice packs and cold towels again) and has had a new dose of steroids. We are hoping to make it one more day now to allow for this dose to kick in and do as much as possible for baby girl. 

We have been moved backed to labor and delivery and are very close to the surgical room in case she needs a c section. We have consulted with the doctors and attendees and if there are any any any signs of distress they will do a c section. 

Once baby girl is born they will take her and I may or may not be able to go with her right away depending on stability, but I have been warned it make take up to three hours before I will get to see her. 

I took my first NICU tour today... As much as I wanted to hold back the tears, they came. No one looked at me in a negative way, but were very supportive. There are so many precious little ones here and my heart goes out to each one of them and their parents. 

I got to meet Dexter; a beautiful little boy who was born at 24 weeks and is now 11 days old. He is so tiny but perfect. He is bigger, much bigger than Eva and it surprised me to see the difference two weeks make. There are so many tubes and connections but such a loving wonderful staff. I can't say I'm happy this is all happening, but I am grateful that we are in the right spot where these miracle workers can help our baby. 

Here is a quick picture I snapped of Dexter's diaper so you can get an idea of the size of his little body:

This is a tough time for sure but we are so grateful for all the blessings we have been given. 

Bianca is sleeping now as she is pretty much exhausted. We are back to waiting for now, but are ready to go if the time comes soon...

Tuesday - 5:51AM CDT

Contractions are coming more consistently now, but Baby's heart beat is still very good. We have seen now at least 5 different doctors this morning and are now awaiting our high risk team as well as our NICU team. As we are about to be caught in the middle of shifts (shifts are 12 hours starting 7AM to 7PM) our night staff has begun filling in our day staff.

Remember the doctor who I did not get along with when we first got here, well she came rushing in this morning at 5:30 when she arrived and has been the most comforting person yet. It's amazing how much an opinion can change when we get to know someone. As we are typically less close and chatty with the night staff, seeing a doctor, our doctor, that knows us and knows what we have been through has been a wonderful comfort to Bianca and I.

We are staying positive, that is not to say we are not scared or worried, but we are positive. We have been through so much in this past month that we cannot deny the gifts and blessing of Heaven.

There is so much to be said of the power of prayer and the faith that is shared amongst so many people that have supported us through this trial. We cannot thank everyone enough - we knew our journey wasn't over yet, and Baby B is starting a new chapter for us today.

Sunday and Monday Recap - 

Sunday we received our normal visit from our wonderful Bishopric, who came and administered the sacrement to Bianca, her mother and myself. It is a wonderful way to start a Sabbath day and we were prepared for another tough week ahead. We ate and I left to attend our normal services as well as the World Wide Leadership broadcast regarding "The Work of Salvation". It was such a beautiful training where we learned of the exciting developments in missionary work and how this new generation has been prepared to serve and bring the gospel to the whole world. I was reminded of my service in Ecuador and all of the wonderful people I served and served with. How I miss the Shurtleffs and President's counsel. David Golding (Elder at the time) often reminded me of the most commonly used phrase in the Book of Mormon (at least in english)... "and it came to pass." This trial will to come to pass. With all of these reminders it was amazing to see how that time in my life has better prepared me and my family for this amazing journey. 

I mention this as I believe that our children our missionaries in every sense. Many have asked me regarding our faith and how we have remained positive during this time, and it is because of that faith and in a knowledge that God lives and loves us that we walk this road every day. 

Several years ago I had the privilege of growing up with some very dear friends, the Brown's, who were in our home ward for years. They have a son my age who I have grown up with our whole lives and his older brother had always been an inspiration to me. Their older son had battled long and hard with cancer and past away my sophomore year of high school. He had touched so many lives that nearly the entire school attended his funeral service. It was a service I would never forget as so many expected a family to be torn apart and devastated, but found they were united and of good cheer. They were comforted in the knowledge of eternal families and that their son was not lost, but separated from them for a short time while he attended to the Lord's business. As typical in our church, each missionary has a plaque with the missionarie's picture, the mission field to which they are called and often a scripture. I will never forget the week after the funeral when I walked in and saw a missionary plaque in the foyer with his name on it with the mission field of his calling being a "Celestial Mission". I would like to think that Eva is also serving a mission at this time, working in the fields on the other side of the veil.

Monday - 

All moved smoothly throughout Sunday with a tiny exception I did not mention before, Eva's umbilical cord, which had been clamped off, had finally fallen off. This was a cause of alarm to us as we just were expecting it (silly us first time pregnant). So we about near gave the on call nurse a heart attack when I told her the cord fell off (she thought I was referring to Baby B). 

Two main things happened Monday - Bianca was put on a blood thinner as the doctors had become increasingly concerned with the potential for blood clots with her constant bed rest. Blood thinner are fun medicines in my opinion, as these resulted in bloody noses, that of course caused some more alarm for us. After some discussion, she was moved to Heparin with a shot twice a day. So more needles, but if they can prevent a clot that could cause serious health risks, we were all for it.

The other thing that happened is, our high risk doctors felt that they should tie off the remaining cord that was still attached. Late last week, it was discovered that Eva's placenta was still viable and still connected. So if the placenta was still connected as well the cord, we had a loose cord, hopefully not spilling contents or doing anything else yucky, and as such it was cause for alarm. 

The doctors performed (or used not sure which) a speculum procedure to find the loose end of the cord and tie it off. After some time though, they were not able to find any cord left to tie. Bianca's body had essentially retracted or absorbed the remaining section of cord. We are not sure what that means exactly, but the doctors were not too alarmed.

So that brings us up to today, water broken and uterus contracting. It's now been 3 hours since Bianca woke me up telling me she felt her water broke and what she felt almost 30 days ago was happening again. We are of course in a much different position - we are in the hospital with an amazing team by our sides, medication has been administered and we are doing everything we can to help our baby girl. We are staying positive because thats who we are and what precious Baby B needs. As we know more I will update...

Tuesday morning

Baby B's water broke this morning at 3:30am. Bianca is not in labor yet as she has no contractions and no bleeding, but we have a two test confirmation that her water did break. Doctors have put her back on IV fluids and a new set of antibiotics. We are over the 24 week mark which was a primary goal, by now 3 days. The steroid shot was given almost two weeks ago and we may be given a "life saving" dose at this point. The on call dr is not a high risk specialist, but she has already alerted the team as well and the NICU. Baby is head down which would be the best position for a vaginal delivery, however if there are any additional indications that she is delivering this morning a c section will be performed. 

At this point Baby had a good heart beat and is doing as well as can be hoped for her size. We have to have faith and trust that we are in the right place and that everything will be ok. We have been prepared for this and know that we have done everything we can for our girls. 

We are both holding on to faith and hope and prayer. We probably won't know more for a few more hours but for right now we are holding tight. 

This does not mean Bianca is delivering yet, but if she is going to based on the water breaking it will be within the first 72 hours. We have to do more of what we are good at which is waiting...

Such great nurses...

I would like to say thanks to all of our amazing nurses - and we have had a few :-)
but two have really stood out as being not only amazing at their jobs, but really being there for Bianca, Eva, Baby B and Me. Karly and Stephanie have been those angels that you read about, doing above and beyond to make sure we were ok!

So when we came in last Tuesday (wow so much has happened in under two weeks) - you may have heard I was not the biggest fan of our receiving doctor; well it was Karly that took the time to reassure me. It was her example that lead me to apologize to the poor doctor after I had pretty much bit her head off.

When Bianca started going into full on labor on the second day and I saw the cord, it was Stephanie and Karly that put us at ease and helped us through the most difficult part of knowing our baby was not going to make it.

When the pain was so much and the mercury was heating Bianca's body up so much, it was Stephanie and Karly who worked fast to cover her in ice packs.

When we got moved from our first room to an even smaller room, it was Karly who got us a new bed and Stephanie that wheeled in a fridge just for Bianca.

When Bianca's back hurt it was these two wonderful angels who got her a new mattress pad and new pillows.

Karly came by with new magazines for Bianca and Stephanie spent time with us to tell us all about her miracle baby and their journey in the NICU...and the list goes on and on

Today they even celebrated with us on 24 weeks! with fresh baked cookies!!! How awesome is that :-)

Please know that all of our nurses have been amazing - but these two have just done more than anyone could ever ask for...oh and did I mention they are not even her nurses any more. They have done almost all of this since we have been in their care. My father in law said it best during the service for Eva; so many times we expect angels to be persons beyond the veil of this world, but often they are right here all around us.

Thank you Karly and Stephanie!!!

Saturday Morning - 24 Weeks and Viability!

I am so sorry for not posting much this week - well to be frank hardly nothing at all. This was a tough week emotionally and there were a lot of things I had to deal with before I was able to post. So this is sort of a recap of the week. Although things will never be normal again - we have begun to settle back into our routine a bit more.

Monday was spent getting family settled in and preparing things for the funeral. I want to express a sincere thank you to everyone who helped with programs, music, pictures, organizing the agenda, the flowers and all those little things that I had never really thought about.

Tuesday we had a wonderful service for Eva Aimee surrounded by family and friends. The Klein Funeral home was so great and I could not have been happier with all of the support and organization they provided. Our darling little girl was laid to rest in the Klein Memorial Park off of 2920 near our home in Tomball. I am so thankful for my parents and sister for being able to attend as well as almost all of Bianca's family; brothers and sisters as well as spouses nieces and nephews. It was so wonderful to see her surrounded by so many people that love and support her.

Here are a few pictures of the service as well as her family's visit to the hospital!

The rest of the week has been spent trying to catch up at work and taking care of things around the hospital. The hard part for Bianca has been the emotional strain of not being able to be there for the service and having to be in bed for so long.

We entered the hospital on May 28 and today is June 22 for a total of 26 days! YIKES!
Today also marks 24 weeks for our miracle Baby B!

24 weeks also means are first day of viability - Where Baby B has a high enough chance of survival that NICU specialist start monitoring her even more.

So what has happened during this week with Baby B and Bianca's health...
Both are doing very well with Bianca getting lots of bed rest and sleeping a lot. Baby B has had strong heart tones and seems to be kicking and moving a lot. Earlier this week we got to hear Baby with hiccups and see her practicing her breathing. I never knew I could be so happy about hiccups.

Some of the other news - Baby B is generally developing well and is consistent with 24 weeks of development with the exception of her little tummy. Her tummy is more than a week behind the development of the rest of her body. There are lots of reasons for this, but over all we need to increase Bianca's diet and her good calorie intake. We have been noticing that Bianca eats less than normal due to her being in bed all the time and tends to get a bit of reflux after she eats. (After we learned this she ate a slice of pizza, a hot dog and a full salad for lunch...I think she is on board with the whole eating more idea)

As I have mentioned before, we have a team of doctors now and we meet more and more every day as well as new nurses all the time - but we now can add a Physical Therapist and a Dietitian.  Bianca is now on PT exercises to keep her muscle tone up and strength as well as a new diet including more protein and eating more often. She is now on Boost / Ensure drinks to keep her calorie intake up and give the baby as much.

Over all things are good and I will post more as soon as I get a chance.

Sunday Morning - Happy Father's Day

This morning I got one of the nicest messages I have ever received from Michael Amaral. It was short and sweet; he wished me a happy father's day.

Through all this I had forgotten what a blessing and privilege it is to be a father. Our little girl was on this earth for just a short time, but I know we will see her again and she is not gone from our lives, but working in the Lord's kingdom now. I am reminded so much of my paternal Grandmother and her dedication to service. After my Grandfather had passed away and all her children had grown she decided to serve a  full time mission and was called to the Mexico City Temple. Her life was an example of service to us all and she passed away serving at the temple she loved so much. Our little Eva took after her example and the example of so many of our loved ones in her willingness to return to our Heavenly Father and serve.

My heart is full of gratitude on this Sunday morning for the sacrifice of so many fathers and the love they have for their children. My parents are here with us as well as my in laws and it has been an amazing beacon of strength to have our Fathers with us during this time. To all the Fathers who read this blog; Happy Father's Day - thank you for being the Dads that make us great, that pick us up when we are down and who lead by example.

As much as I have wanted to write in the last few days, it has been extremely busy with lots of different phone calls and preparations for so many different things. I am so thankful for the additional flowers and love we have received these last few days especially from those who have donated to the march of dimes and the Pierce family, Kris  Carpenter, all my co-workers in Phoenix and all those who have called and left messages. To Josue and family, thank you for your kind words and messages; to Manny and Gaby thank you for the call and I am so sorry I have not had a chance to call you all back. Likewise to Raul Davilla and his family for their messages.
BTW - Kris thanks for the longer HDMI cable - the nurses are amazed at how we got Netflix and the apple TV to work on the hospital TV's :-)

Let me take some time to update everyone who is still following along on Baby B and why we have not named her yet. We did not know the sex of Baby A (Eva) until the minute she was born. The Friday after we were admitted into the hospital was the day we were to learn each babies gender. So I was the one to announce that Baby A was a girl to Bianca. We had really not thought of a lot of girl names as we had always assumed Baby A was a boy. The few names we had agreed on totally left our minds when we saw our perfect little girl. So let me explain her name quickly; Eva is Bianca's maternal grandmother's name and Aimee is my sister's name. We decided to name our daughter after two women who have always led by example, dedicated their lives to service and love for Heavenly Father so much that they have raised families into Him. We also wanted to name her after individuals who were instrumental in raising us as children. So Eva Aimee is the name we chose.

Baby B has not been named as of yet as we are awaiting her FULL TERM arrival to see her, hold her and then see what name fits well for her. We do not love our second daughter any less or any more than Eva, we just want to see her to make sure her name fits :-)

Bianca is doing well and is in very good spirits and has begun focusing her efforts in taking as much care of Baby B as she can. She is still on bed rest and will continue to be until hopefully we reach 38+ weeks. As we hit 23 weeks yesterday that means we have around 15 weeks to go - YIKES. There are of course milestones to hit and things to do in the mean time, so for right now our goal is to 24 weeks. So our goal is next Saturday everyone :-) Positive thoughts and prayers for that day.

Our team (and yes I do mean team at this point as we on a daily basis see no less than 3 doctors and often, are not even the same ones) have consulted with us and together we have come up with a solid plan. Bianca is now off IV fluids and IV antibiotics, although the risk of infection is still very high. She is on a regimen of antibiotics in pill form now though along with lots and lots of water the old fashion way - by drinking it. She still has her IV in, but not connected at the moment. Her blood pressure, pulse, temperature and lung sounds are checked multiple times each day to ensure that she is doing well on bed rest. Baby B's heart beat is checked daily with the doppler and movement and position is tracked by ultra sound a few times a week. So she is being watched like a hawk at this point.

Baby A's cord and placenta are still inside of Bianca and there has been no big push to get them out. Each time she gets cleaned up there is more and more fragments of membrane that come out. That is a tough thing to see as you almost immediately worry that its new blood from something else. Our primary high risk doctor is comfortable with us waiting it out for the placenta mostly to come out on its own, however as Baby A was so small, there is a chance it will fall out by pieces as it comes apart inside of her. Although this is a slow process, Bianca is not in any pain just a bit uncomfortable at times as she feels more pieces fall out.

Our next major issue is bed sores and being in bed for so long. Bianca has been on complete bed rest now since May 28 bringing us to a total of 20 days. Let's take a minute to remember how long that really is...ever been a broke college student working part time and living off raman (Allison remembers cause she was in the apartment building across from me !) and you spent all the money you had on books and food the minute you got paid on the 1st and you had to wait till the 15th for the next pay check. Yeah multiply that by a bazillion and you got it. She is in good spirits like I said, but her anxiousness is starting to set in. Thank you to Craig and Blair for the cool gift box with things for her to do. Our antepartum nurses and doctor rock as the plan is to change rooms every week or so just to give Bianca a fresh look at something new :-)

-TOTAL SIDE NOTE - I had been telling the nurses how long Bianca had been on bed rest, sort of puffing my chest out a bit, and I meet the guy a few doors down from us whose wife has been here for 3 months...I shut up :-)

Bianca's skin has begun to peel around her joints from taking sponge baths and not being able to completely rinse off. That has been a cause for alarm, but changing soaps and aveeno lotion will hopefully to the trick as the last thing we want is more discomfort. Her hair has also become a challenge as washing it is difficult but necessary just to keep her positive and healthy. Dry shampoo as I mentioned a few week back - not really a solution, more of a stop gap and tends to leave your hair with some big clumps. Her compression boots are still on though to help with circulation, but I am finally starting to see her leg strength weaken. Daily I put my hands on her feet and tell her to push so we can exercise and we are beginning to see some major muscle tone loss. She is still strong, but its much less than her normal strength.

Sadly the last thing is her catheter has finally been removed - good, as it was always irritating - bad, that she has to remember to urinate. For her sake I will not go into details, but its sort of funny when you didn't have to think about it for 2 weeks and all of the sudden you do.  I will say no more ;-)

Sorry this has become so long - but since I haven't written I just thought I would take some time and get everyone up to speed (and Bianca is still asleep so I had some time !)

Lastly Baby B's odds. The goal is to help Bianca go to term with Baby B around 38 weeks, however we have had to make some decisions in the mean time. As we learned with Eva, at 22+ weeks, she was still too small to have extreme measures taken. Part of the problem is that the baby cannot have a tube placed inside her mouth to help expand the lungs and help her breath. Intubation tubes are just not made small enough to handle an infant that size. So for Baby B, during the delivery and day after Bianca was given her first dose of steroids to help growth development. So here is the break down of odds from a statistical look based on her weight, gestational age, and the dosage of steroids:
Survival - 26%
Survival without profound neurodevelopmental impairment - 16%
Survival without moderate to severe neurodevelopmental impairment - 9%
So as you can see we want Baby B to keep developing as long as possible. These odds though have been music to my ears from what we were first told in May.  Baby B still has a long road to go and we are not naive in that, but we are full of faith and hope and we will continue to fight the good fight.

Saturday Morning - March Of Dimes - 23 Weeks!!!

Good morning - what a beautiful morning it is and we are so happy for another day :-)
I apologize for not writing more yesterday as it was just such a hard/busy day. I will update more on that a bit later on this morning. For right now let me give some specific details regarding the funeral.

We will be having services on Tuesday - June 18th at 10:00AM for little Eva Aimee.
The services will be grave side and due to the limited area and seating we have asked that only family and invited friends attend. This is not to say we don't wish everyone could come, but the space and time just won't allow for too many people, not to mention that my wife's family is a bit huge already :-)

Bianca will not be attending as she and Baby B are doing very good and will remain in the hospital for hopefully several more weeks to come! We are officially 23 weeks today with Baby B and we are hoping to go the distance and go full term. I will update more about that a little later on today.

A few more things regarding the funeral - several people have already reached out to me regarding sending flowers or other things to the funeral home and grave site. Although we appreciate so much the thoughts and gifts, however as Eva has brought so much joy into our lives, we would like to give that joy back in some small way.

In lieu of flowers we are asking for donations to be made in memory of Eva Aimee to the March of Dimes! The mission of the March of Dimes is to help mom's have full term healthy babies, and help with research and coping with health issues that occur with pre-term pregnancies.

If you would like to donate please visit our donation page at: http://www.gofundme.com/3a11fo
If any one has questions please feel free to contact me :-)

Lastly for this morning - we would like to post a single picture of Baby Eva that the nurses took once she was born - (Allison - the nurses took amazing pictures as things happened a bit sooner than we had thought, and we are happy we did. Thank you so much for the sage advice as this has helped us so much!!)

She has my nose for sure, and she is just perfect - all ten fingers and ten toes :-)
We love you all and thank you so much for you support during this time!

Friday afternoon

Just a quick update as I have been all over the place today. Funeral arrangements are under way and should be finalized shortly. Bianca and I are talking about donating to a charity like the march of dimes in lieu of flowers as many have already begun asking where to send arrangements. I will keep everyone posted on that as soon as we have some time to work through options.

Bianca and Baby B are doing well and were able to rest last night. The doctors have been closely monitoring her and so far so good ( fingers crossed and prayers said ). I will update more in the morning but thank you to everyone who has called and sent flowers. We appreciate the outpouring of love for our little girl. 

Wednesday 2:40 pm

Our precious little girl Eva Aimee Flores was born today at 2:40pm weighing 15oz with all ten toes and ten fingers and the most beautiful precious little person I have ever seen. 

Her heart had stopped beating sometime before she was delivered but we are so thankful she is not in pain and is in the right place now. 

Bianca is doing as well as can be expected but physically she is doing well. Baby b is still high in her uterus and the sack and placenta have not been disturbed. We are not out of the woods by any means, but baby b is hanging on. The doctors will monitor her every minute now and we will have twice a day ultra sounds. 

Our journey is not over and we know we are an eternal family with our darling little Eva. We are so thankful for all the love and support we have received and we ask that if possible that prayers continue for Bianca and both our little girls. 

Funeral arrangements are being made and I will post more information as I know more. 

Thursday mid day

Baby A is almost out now, most of the feet and legs are out and visible as well as a lot of the umbilical cord. The baby is still progressing slowly but nurses have confirmed there is no longer a heart beat. The doctor has not declared the baby still born yet, but it has now been close to two hours moving very very slowly at this rate. 

Bianca is so tired and has finally started to rest but she is still having contractions and the baby is still coming out. Bianca is now on a magnesium drip as well which is to provide natal care and relax her uterus in the hope that baby b does not deliver. So far baby b has not moved too much and doesn't seem distressed. This medicine though also makes this process even longer for baby A. 

The magnesium medicine caused an extreme rise in temperature and Bianca was flush for about 20 min in which we covered her in ice packs and draped her in cold clothes as much as possible. Once the initial dose was given she has been much better.  

Baby B has also received the first steroid shot to help development as there is still a chance that they will be delivered soon as well. This is the main reason why we haven't pushed baby a faster or done any sort of c section, just trying to give baby b a fighting chance at this point. 

Doctors have also upped the dosage of antibiotics as this is a very tough spot to be in and replaced her catheter to try and avoid infection as much as possible. Still on iv liquids but down to ice chips as water is not an option any more in the event she needs to be put under for any type of surgical procedure. 

I haven't processed in my mind everything with Baby A yet and I don't know how to express anything I or Bianca are feeling right now. I just wanted to update on where we are now as I know so many people are worried. Once baby A is all the way here and out I will let everyone know what the plan is moving forward. We love everyone who is reading and thank you for your prayers.