Friday evening

Bianca's sister Lizette and her family were able to come in this afternoon from Bentonville AK to help out. I saw my wife smile and laugh today as if nothing was going on and I truly could not be happier. Her mind was at ease and she was just glowing with seeing her big sister. 

Thank you David and Lizette for all your sacrifice in coming to see us. 

We meet again briefly with our OB late this afternoon and were again told we are on the best course possible! We are still nervous about every bumb, sound, movement or hiccup but we are comforted in the knowledge that our twins are fighting for each other. 

Sadly our OB will not be in this weekend and we have never met the on call doctor but we are hopeful we won't have to either. 

Other than that we have no real news to report which is a good thing. Big thank you to Michael and Becky for helping us with food for our guests as well as my sister who has tirelessly run errands and helped us all day. We also appreciate all the phone calls and messages of hope and concern. Derek sorry I haven't called you back brother but thank you for your love and prayers and please thank all of your fellow KOC and church friends who have prayed for us. 

On one side note, we are trying dry shampoo for Bianca tonight, so we will report on how well that works in the morning. Heaven forbid anyone is in a prolonged hospital stay like us but if this works it may be a great solution for bed bound folks. 

Friday mid-day

So after a full lunch Bianca was able to sleep for a few hours before meeting with our OB. Turns out my assessment were pretty much on and he has cleared Bianca as stable!!! Which really means there has been no change in baby A's position in coming down and being delivered. Some of the really good things are that the discharge we were pretty much always seeing has slowed down significantly. So very little blood or any thing else going on. We are very happy with that although long term not sure where things are going. 

Baby A has no fluid left or at least none that is readily noticeable via ultra sound, so the lack of discharge makes sense. We never really knew exactly where the blood was coming from but no blood in my mind is a good thing. 

Baby B is still sitting way on top with good vitals and all so our wait and hope continues. For those keeping tab the twins are 21 weeks and 1 day. Every minute/hour/day is a blessing with our little ones so we are happy moment we have. 

Although this has been terribly scary for Bianca and I, we have been able to smile and laugh once and awhile and that has made a huge difference. I never realized how much laughter is good for the soul and for our spirits. 

Thank you again for all the prayers and positive thoughts. I cannot thank everyone enough. We should update again later on this evening when the nurse and I play with the Doppler to hear heart beats again. 

Friday Morning - Ultra Sound

I arrived back here at the hospital around 2:30AM this morning to relieve my mother in law and check with the nurses on things. Bianca had not been in pain and her contractions were very far apart (like a couple hours apart).

Around 8:15AM this morning we had the latest ultra sound and I am happy to report, there has not been a lot of change (in this case, that is a good thing). Keep in mind I am not a trained medical professional, but I do watch a ton of Grey's Anatomy (don't judge to you watch an episode) but here is what the tech and I saw (still waiting to hear the official report from the doc).

Baby A is still very very low in the vaginal canal, but does have a heart beat of about 137, which is lower than yesterday, but still good. Baby B is still way up in the uterus, but has shifted to the middle of her belly as opposed to the right side, where they have always been. So this was a cause for some alarm, but looking at things, since Baby A is so low there is a lot more space in the uterus so Baby B naturally just slid over.

So here comes the interesting part...
Baby A placenta is right at the top of the birth canal and, to me, almost seems like an anchor holding them in place. Baby B is well above Baby A's placenta and has their placenta (Baby B's) on the opposite side up and away from the other. What our hope with that is, Baby A and their placenta will not disturb Baby B if and when delivered.

Lot's of people have asked me if there is anything we can do with Baby A as far as extremem measures and staying time in the NICU. We have asked that question more times than you all can think trust me, and I actually continue to ask that question as Baby A still has such a strong heart beat. The internet has become my best friend and worst enemy, as I read more about miracle stories I also read some extremely heart breaking tales of worse cases than ours. The biggest difference I have seen in all my research (and the doctors have sort of confirmed this) is that our baby has descended soooo far down that with no amniotic fluid and no room to grow there is virtually nothing that can be done to help develop lungs. The baby is pinned to an extent in the vaginal canal with no fluid that the lungs cannot develop. There was a baby in Germany born at 21 weeks who did make it and I find myself returning to this article time and time again:
http://healthland.time.com/2011/05/27/baby-born-at-21-weeks-survives-how-young-is-too-young-to-save/

I have brought this up and I am hopeful with each day that passes that our doctors come up with a plan to save our precious little fighter. We have not just forgotten about Baby A so please dont think we are blind to this, its just been so hard to deal with so many scenarios and so little options other than sit and wait. I am continuing to do research and reach out to other places to see if someone has a plan for our little family. 

May 30th - Thursday Night Update

We had the chance to speak with our OB again this evening and did receive some additional good news. Baby A's position has not changed although Bianca did have more contractions and some more blood. We are scheduled for another ultra sound in the morning which hopefully will show the same strong heart beat from today and not too much change in position.

Bianca's blood work also came back showing that her white blood cells have decreased, meaning she is not fighting any infections right now. With an open cervix and the baby so low she is at a high chance of infection which can cause even further complications.

She is getting some rest and I am crashing out for a few hours as well. I do get up all too often thinking that something has changed or I can do something more. Luckily my mother in law is helping so I can get some shut eye.

Thank you to Jarrod and Michelle who left lots of goodies on our kitchen table when I came in tonight with the everything looking spotless. I could not hold back the tears in gratitude to our amazing friends.

Our Twin's Story - The Beginning

If you are reading this blog it's more than likely because I have pointed you to it during a particular difficult time in our lives. So let me start at the beginning to bring everyone up to speed.

Bianca and I were married March 3, 2007 and started trying to have kids about a year later. Since we have been in Houston we have been through 2 IUI treatments and 2 IVF procedures with the second IVF treatment resulting in a wonderful pregnancy of twins. We have been anxiously awaiting their arrival and talking about names since January of this year. As we have yet to learn the sex of the babies we had hollywood nick named them JIANCA and BR :-) (side note: we were suppose to learn the sex of each this Friday, but as you will read didn't happen and we still don't know)

Friday May 24th, Bianca started to notice some discharge and clear fluid which made her a bit nervous. As it was Memorial Day weekend, we called the doctor and set an appointment to see him as soon as possible on Tuesday. (We had a previously scheduled appoint for Friday of this same week). I left work a bit early and went to pick up Bianca for our quick visit which I was sure that would last no more than a few minutes and we would be off to Sam's and do our weekly tasks.

Our OB saw us right away and after a very short consult announced to us that Bianca was in full on labor and had been for some time now. Bianca had been dilating and was completely open for a delivery soon. We were both shocked and in complete denial as we had assumed something simple was wrong and nothing like this. There had been no cramping, no bleeding, and no real discomfort previous to this. We were shortly run over to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital and admitted.

So here comes everything we have been through so far...

5/24/2013 3:45PM CDT...
We are admitted and are given an ultra sound to see exactly what is going on. Our OB has also called ahead for a high risk pregnancy specialist consult. At this point Bianca is 20 weeks 6 days. Most NICU patients have at least 24 weeks under their belt before they are admitted. Our babies had over 3 weeks to go and in pregnancy time that is an eternity.

Ultra sound results...
Our OB came back a short time later to let us know what he and the tech could see on the ultra sound films. Bianca was indeed in labor and that fluid she felt was Baby A's amniotic fluid as her water had broken. We now know that Bianca has what is known as an Incompetent Cervix (Cervical Insufficiency). As this is our first pregnancy there was no way of telling before hand that she had this condition. She had no pain, cramps or warning signs other then the clear fluid.

What this means for our twins...
Well this is the hard part for us, Baby A has descended well into the vaginal canal and is at the point of delivery (remember this is 2 days ago now). Baby B is still very high in the uterus and has a complete and full amniotic sack. At this point there is little to nothing we can do for Baby A as they cannot grow in their current state and may not survive with out fluid (there are cases of babies surviving without amniotic fluid and cases where the sack closes again and refills, however none that we have read or the doctors can find once the baby has descended. So with that there is no way to perform a reverse c-section (putting the baby back into the uterus).

Issue number 2 - Twins are sort of a package deal and as such once Baby A delivers there is an extremely high chance Baby B will want to join in the party and be delivered as well. If the babies had reached 24 weeks we would be looking at very different scenarios, but as it stands, both our specialist and OB have advised us that the likelihood of 21 weekers surviving outside the womb is slim to none.

Issue number 2 1/2 - We cannot induce Bianca to get Baby A out as that is to ensure Baby B will be delivered as well.

Issue number 3 - If Baby A does not deliver on their own and passes away while still in the cervix/vaginal canal doctors will be forced to remove them as there is a greater chance of severe infection that could hurt Baby B.

Issue number 3 1/2 - If they do remove Baby A there is a high chance it will cause Baby B to induce either way and we are back at issue 2.5

So where we are now and what we can hope for...
Best Case Scenario - Baby A delivers naturally and the cervix closes on its own allowing time for Baby B to continue growing to term. There are lots of variables in this such as the placenta coming out and Baby B not descending during contractions.

Worst Case Scenario - Baby A either is delivered naturally or passes and is forced delivered causing Baby B to deliver as well and not survive outside the womb.

In both cases there is little nothing we can do for Baby A.

Bianca and I are extremely heart broken over this, however it is a reality that we are faced with and are during everything we can to cope. Obviously this is something we can't completely do yet as there are so many variables at play. (this is a summary of how we are feeling of course, if I were to write down all of the tears we have shed and the prayers and frustration it would never end I think. We have a child that is more than likely not going to survive and I cannot put into words how that feels. We keep hope and pray, and trust in the Lord which is all we can do).

Catching up to today...
This was all Tuesday evening and today is now Thursday evening so what happened in between.

Bianca had a rough night, but got through it and Baby A was still there with a good strong heart beat, but losing the little fluid still left very quickly. After speaking with the specialist I asked if we had a matter of hours, days, weeks, months and was told to expect hours and she would deliver on her own.

We would have some time with our precious little baby and once passed I would need to start looking at funeral arrangements. (As our babies are past 20 weeks they would no longer be considered miscarriages and we can give them a funeral service and a burial). I have since started working on these arrangements  which I can honestly say is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

All day Wednesday we were slow waiting for anything to happen really. Bianca started having strong contractions about a minute apart and we both felt that it was time. We called our nurse and were given the pain medication option which Bianca opted out of an epidermal. Once pain meds were administered through an IV the contractions began to slow down, Bianca obviously felt less pain and low and behold everything just sort of stopped off again. We have now had at least 3 of those little shows and still nothing.

Wednesday night late, my wonderful Mother in Law arrived and was able to relieve me for a bit. She has stayed by Bianca day and night as only a mother could and has been wonderful to have. Wednesday afternoon our great Bishop came by as well and helped me give my wife and our children a much needed blessing (I had given her one before, but it was nice to have someone else with me). He also gave me a blessing which reconfirmed to me the power of the priesthood.

I went home to an empty house which was not the best of ideas and got maybe an hour or two of sleep and came right back.

05/30/2013 Thursday...
Baby A has descended a bit further however, is still in and we heard a very strong heartbeat. We have meet with our high risk specialist who was glad she was wrong and Baby A is still there and our OB has come as well letting us know that we are good with waiting things out. As long as Baby A is still alive we want to wait as long as possible.

My own personal thought and prayer is that Baby A knows exactly what is going on and is holding on as long as possible to give their sibling the best chance at growing. I know they came here together and will do anything to take care of each other. So many times have I whispered to them to take care of each other on this earth, and they are doing just that. I could not ask for better children!

My favorite (and only) sister arrived today to help me with some of logistical things and I am so happy to see her.

This is kind of the summary of what is going on now, and I will do my best to update this as often as possible. There are a few more things going on right now, but I will post them shortly.

I did want to thank all of our family and friends who have offered words of encouragement as well as our Edox family who have all jumped in to cover me at this time.   Special thanks today to Jarrod and Michelle for taking care of our awesomely dumb dogs and for paying the lawn people as the HOA is about to kill me, to Michael and Becky for coming by to see us and help me with the funeral arrangements and for picking up my sister at the airport. To James and Kevin for stopping by to make sure we were ok and give me some of the best counsel a guy could ask for. To TJ for reaching out to me even though he was half way around the world and I am not even sure how he found a phone. To my dear friend Allison who inspired us to write this as we have so intently followed her miracle baby Grant's story on her blog. To Katie for taking the time to reach out to our family and pass along information to our team in Phoenix. Of course our Bishop Felipe Calderon for coming to help me give one of the most important blessings ever, and my mother in law and sister for their labor of love to be with us (and Vicky who was nice enough to pick up my mother in law from the airport). If I have left anyone else out I am so sorry, but my heart is so full of gratitude and thanksgiving that in our time of trials so many people have reached out to us.

We love you all and appreciate your prayers!
-JR